Many of my friends had been congratulating me for this. I am happy. I am sad. I am happy. I am sad. Probably, I am sad. And so did I find the need to write this post.
At this point of time, I am aware that my responsibilities have quadrupled. I am screwed big time. I’d be having a lot of things to take care of and simultaneously must be careful enough not to screw up my academics or lose upon any opportunities. I have to focus.
And from what I have seen in a couple of days, I am losing it all. I am not being the usual me, the focused one. I am lost. Waste too much time on useless things. My every day agenda fails. This is wrong. At the end of the day, I feel the only thing I did was to make the to-do list. Everything else failed.
This is high time. I must get away from it.
This day. This particular day. It doesn’t only warn me of possible misfortunes in my life. But from today onwards, I am also vulnerable enough to get into mighty conflicts. I fear that so many of my efforts may get wasted, ignored or might be overtaken by others. There is so much to do. But, the toughest part would be moderating it. I am not sure, if I am directing my energies into the right directions. Probably yes. But I so need to maintain a balance. This, I have to learn. I’d be dealing with people, who at any moment might backstab me, can potentially hurt me and possibly could even make my life some worthless shit. I must be prepared for the worst.
I am not sure if at the first place, I should be afraid, cautious, ignorant or welcoming to this event in my life. I know this is a change, which might affect my life, for better or maybe worse. Double. No Multiple-sided people. God! Please give me the strength to deal with it. Teach me something through this venture. I know there is so much to learn. And so much, that could get me mired up into infinite troubles.
I can’t trust people; I’d be working with because at any point of time, I could be betrayed. I can’t ruin up my connections with them for the above stated reason. Work. Relations. None of them could be sacrificed. Since, at the end of the day, I long to achieve satisfaction, happiness and peace of mind.
I must settle down on the fact that the conflicts are bound to occur. But, the same would be solved too. Also whenever would be the need, I must learn to say a NO or may be an affirmative NO.
I believe I’d be able to get past all the bad times that are bound to come. And while working upon them, I hope I won’t miss any chance to cherish the good ones. Peace.